Choice Relationships: 2008:
Your Part Means a Lot
Circulation 1600
Volume 22 March 2008
In This Issue:
My Personal Insights:
Choice Tips:
Additional Resources I Recommend:
Empowering Information and Tools:
Every year at this time, I marvel at the wonderment of nature and how everything comes alive again. Whatever dreariness and darkness there has been seems to reawaken to light and beauty. I try to be really aware of the buds on the trees and to listen for the birds singing. Spring seems to be a time for new possibilities.
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ALWAYS INSIGHTFUL I wanted to thank you for your informative newletters... Melissa N. I'VE LEARNED A LOT FROM YOUR PERSONAL INSIGHTS Thanks for your insight on relationships. I am a widow trying to start a new relationship, and surely, your advice has been a big help. Keep up the good work, Dr K!!"
YOUR INSIGHTS HELPED ME IMPORVE Thank you so much for your helpful insights. They have helped improve my life and my relationships with others. Elizabeth, Australia Thank you, great advice!!!!! David S. |
Choice Relationships by Awakening Yourself
No doubt being in a relationship with someone is something most of you want. And people like me exist because what is wanted even more is to be in a really good relationship. What is often overlooked as a key factor in having a good relationship is the one you have with yourself; it makes so much of a difference in how you function as a partner.
When you are unhappy in your relationship, it is easy to look at your mate and see what you are not pleased with, what you would like him or her to do differently. It is not as easy to be self-observant and reflect on what you can do. As frustrating as it might be, you can't change the other person. However, you can change you and your reaction. And that can make all the difference!
Choice Tips:
- How stressed are you? When you are stressed, you are not really living and enjoying the present moment. Rather, you are either worried about the future or upset about the past. This takes you away from your relationship. Learn tools like focused breathing or meditation to be more present.
- Though you should not expect your partner to be a mind reader and know what you want, there is one exception to this - when your mind is negative. When you are feeling negative (even unspoken negativity) about him or her that negative energy can be picked up and impact your relationship.
- Even though your partner has reacted to something, you don't have to continue to "pick up the rope." By not doing so, your conflict will not escalate.
- Learn to let things go. When something your partner does is disturbing to you, think, "Is this something that will have meaning in five weeks or years from now?"
- When you do get upset with something your partner has done, is it truly because of that incident or has it set off a "hot button" in you? How will you know? If your reaction is quick, intense, and you have trouble letting it go, it's likely something that got set off. It's time for some self-reflection so that your past isn't interfering with your present partnership.
Additional Resources I Recommend:
From the Internet, some wonderful suggestions on how to live your life::
Click here to Read
Tolle, E. A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life's Purpose, A Plume Book, 2005.
Empowering Tools and Information:
My new book, Mindfulness and The Art of Choice: Transform Your Life is now available both at my site (www.ChoiceRelationships.com with a guarantee) and at Amazon.com. It offers you the tools to get past your past and truly live the life you deserve - one of joy, satisfaction, and love! Check it out!
101 Great Ways to Improve Your Life is also at my site. Not only have I got a chapter in there on stress reduction but you'll find tips from lots of other experts in regard to all different aspects of your life. Find out more about the book.