Choice Relationships: 2008:
Romance Front and Center
Circulation 1500
Volume 20 January 2008
In This Issue:
My Personal Insights:
Choice Tips:
Additional Resources I Recommend:
Empowering Information and Tools:
As the end of January approaches, I'm aware that Valentine's Day is soon upon us. Last year, because my husband was very overwhelmed with his father being so ill, the day went without the usual cards and flowers. It was a good lesson in trusting that he loved me and that sometimes there are other things in life that must take a priority. As a relationships expert, I wanted to use this month's newsletter to give you a head start in making sure your Valentine's Day is special.
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ALWAYS INSIGHTFUL I wanted to thank you for your informative newletters... Melissa N. I'VE LEARNED A LOT FROM YOUR PERSONAL INSIGHTS Thanks for your insight on relationships. I am a widow trying to start a new relationship, and surely, your advice has been a big help. Keep up the good work, Dr K!!"
YOUR INSIGHTS HELPED ME IMPORVE Thank you so much for your helpful insights. They have helped improve my life and my relationships with others. Elizabeth, Australia Thank you, great advice!!!!! David S. |
The Power of Two
Our society, for the most part, is a couples' society. Generally, most of you would rather be in a relationship. It feels good to be part of a pair. However, aside from the fact that 50% of marriages end up in divorce, many of you aren't aware of the kinds of things that will help to enhance your partnership. It used to be thought that the beginning part of the relationship, "the honeymoon phase," was just at the beginning and soon became a memory. But, in fact, you can continue to enjoy the same types of feelings if you know the skills to keep the "special-ness" going.
Choice Tips:
- You have to prioritize your relationship. In the beginning, your new found relationship was more important than anything else. Yes, realistically, as you become more comfortable with one another, you have to allow for other things getting in the way. That doesn't mean you forget about your partner.
- When you speak with each other, make sure you're really listening (just like you did in the beginning). That means not going through the mail or checking your blackberry as your mate is talking to you.
- Remember to make eye contact with each other. Not only will your partner feel like you are paying attention, but the frontal lobe is behind the eyes. And it's the frontal lobe that is responsible for emotional attachment.
- Affection is really important for helping you stay connected. Small gestures like holding hands or touching your mate on the shoulder as you pass by does a lot to let him or her know you care.
- Dopamine is a chemical in the brain that is linked to energy and happiness. It will become more stimulated by novelty. Something as simple as trying a new restaurant or changing what you eat on Wednesdays can make a difference!
- Don't wait for Hallmark to declare it's time to let your special person know what they mean to you. In words or actions, everyday say, "I love you."
Additional Resources I Recommend:
Godek, G. J. P., I Love You Coupons , Sourcebooks Casablanca, 2006
Hendrix, H., Getting the Love You Want, First Owl Books , 2001
Empowering Tools and Information:
Did you know that I write a column for Hitchedmag.com ? It's the "Disputes" column in the Life section. Check it out to find some more great information on some sticky situations! There are also podcasts to accompany most of the topics.
Married or not, most couples seem to lose that zing! Want to learn how you can revitalize your relationship? Find out how in a book I co-authored with communications specialist, Dale Klein, Marriage Magic! Find It, Keep It, and Make It Last.
I Want Magic! Click here for more info.