Choice Relationships: 2008:
Rituals Help Connect your Relationship.
Circulation 1631
Volume 28 September 2008
In This Issue:
My Personal Insights:
Choice Tips:
Additional Resources I Recommend:
Empowering Information and Tools:
As the end of the month draws to a close, I will be celebrating the start of the Jewish New Year. Eight days later, it is followed by the Day of Atonement where nothing is eaten for the entire day. But at the end of the day, we break the fast. I love this tradition which I always hold at my home; I always greet my guests with a piece of challah bread, dipped in honey, and wishes for a Happy New Year. It is a ritual that everyone has come to expect.
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ALWAYS INSIGHTFUL I wanted to thank you for your informative newletters... Melissa N. I'VE LEARNED A LOT FROM YOUR PERSONAL INSIGHTS Thanks for your insight on relationships. I am a widow trying to start a new relationship, and surely, your advice has been a big help. Keep up the good work, Dr K!!"
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The Importance of Rituals
Relationships are important to all of us as they provide us with a sense that we matter. There are lots of things that you and your partner can do that will help to let one another know how important you are to each other. They are rituals. These can occur on a daily basis, monthly, or even less often. They can be private or public. A ritual provides a sense of history, predictability, and something to look forward to. It signifies a deliberateness and consciousness.
Most importantly, as small as the behaviors are, they signify in big ways your connection, your bond.
Choice Tips:
- Have a ritual around leaving and coming home -- even if the absence is for short periods.
- Do something to acknowledge one another at the beginning and ending of each day.
- During the day, connect with each other by a phone call, an email, or a text message.
- Make time to spend together that is not based on problem solving or issues but just for enjoyment of one another.
- If one of you is going away, leave a surprise note in the luggage.
- Acknowledge your partner's accomplishments publicly to others.
- Provide support to your mate when needed rather than trying to fix things.
- Let your significant other know you appreciate what he or she has done even if it's mundane.
- Try new things together. Novelty helps to keep the relationship fresh. And when you share this adventure together, it is again connecting.
- Make sure to be affectionate with each other. Touch is very important for a sense of connection.
Additional Resources I Recommend:
Here's a wonderful story from the internet that's a beautiful connecting ritual:
Click here to read!
Here's an article that talks about the kinds of rituals couples do to increase their happiness:
5 Things Super- Happy Couples Do Every Day WebMD Feature from "Redbook" Magazine by Ty Wenger.
Bruess, C. & Kudak, A. What Happy Couples Do: Belly Button Fuzz & Bare-Chested Hugs - the Loving Little Rituals of Romance, Fairview Press, 2008
Empowering Tools and Information:
As I mentioned in Choice Tip # 9, novelty is really important to your relationship. This is something I talk about in my book, Marriage Magic! Find It, Keep It, and Make It Last. There are also a whole lot more tips in the book to help get your relationship either back on course or to make your good relationship a great one!
Check it out here!