Choice Relationships: Batteries and Children Not Necessarily Included
Circulation 1500
Volume 17 October 2007
In This Issue:
My Personal Insights:
Choice Tips:
Additional Resources I Recommend:
Empowering Information and Tools:
I very much respect that in today's world, there are so many different choices and that what is good for some may not be appropriate for others. And while I think it's vital that the variations in lifestyles be accepted, I also think it's important to be aware of how our choices play out.
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ALWAYS INSIGHTFUL I wanted to thank you for your informative newletters... Melissa N. I'VE LEARNED A LOT FROM YOUR PERSONAL INSIGHTS Thanks for your insight on relationships. I am a widow trying to start a new relationship, and surely, your advice has been a big help. Keep up the good work, Dr K!!"
YOUR INSIGHTS HELPED ME IMPORVE Thank you so much for your helpful insights. They have helped improve my life and my relationships with others. Elizabeth, Australia Thank you, great advice!!!!! David S. |
Does Baby Make Three?
A while ago, I was quoted in a local newspaper regarding the meaning as to whether a couple chose to have a child or not. I truly believe it is their choice and no child should be brought into this world unless there is a true desire. Additionally, I think a couple needs to know that a child is not going to salvage a failing marriage. Rather, the research indicates that the child-rearing years are the most stressful for a marriage. It's really important that a couple make time for their relationship. Not only is this healthy for them, but it is also significant for the child.
Choice Tips:
- Unlike in the past, children are no longer seen as a main factor in what makes a marriage happy. It's more about personal satisfaction.
- One out of four mothers is unmarried; they may or may not be cohabitating with the father. Yet research has shown the importance of dad's role to a child.
- Results show that while parental distress affects both boys and girls in the long run, boys do not appear to be significantly affected by their mother's misery. It is largely the father's degree of distress in the previous year that has a significant effect on the child's own assessment of life satisfaction.
- Happily married couples make the best parents, but research has also indicated children are served well by parents who are happily divorced.
- Though there are lots of variations in the manner in which you choose to discipline your children, the most important factor is that you work as a team and support one another.
- Do not argue in front of your children - it's scary. To calm yourself down, take some slow deep breaths.
- Studies have shown that children will do well academically when you are highly involved with school-related activities.
Additional Resources I Recommend:
Two different articles regarding the changing views of marriage:
Lobron, A., Meet. Marry. Move On. Boston Globe, July 15, 2007.
Click here to read!
St. George, D., To Be Happy In Marriage, Baby Carriage Not Required , Washington Post, July 1, 2007
Click here for article!
Pantley, E., The No-Cry Discipline Solution , McGraw Hill, 2007
Empowering Information and Tools:
If your marriage has gotten stressed out and needs revitalizing during the child-rearing years, learn the tools to bring it back to life. Check out the new edition of my book, Marriage Magic! Find It, Keep It, and Make It Last.
Have the kids already stressed you out so much that you're fighting like crazy? Well, it's important that you at least fight the right way. Listen to the Free teleseminar I give, "The 7 Tools to Manage Communication Conflict."
To hear it...Click Here.